Part 1: The Legend of Polly

Venture Hosts like myself met at 8.30 a.m., and after being shown the site by Camp Chief Peter Lane, we waited for our units to filter in. James and I took turns welcoming people, and everyone had arrived by 7 p.m.

The Unit split in two for a "Discover Adelaide" tour, and we set off with a sheet of questions, knowing that we had to finish at Light's Vision on the other side of town. One stop was at the Central Markets, where Guy obtained a balloon stegosaurus from a clown, and named it Polly Styrene. Polly became our mascot for the remainder of the tour, but died a horrible death by popping before 2 p.m. The entire mass of Venturers marched from Victoria Square to Elder Park, chanting all the way. The Opening Ceremony in the hot sun was irritating and tiring for all, and a few interstate wars broke out to pass the time. That evening was the opening party, "Gaolhouse Rock", and I have it on good authority that it sucked.

Our bus left Wayville at 8.45 a.m. and we arrived in Renmark in the heat of the day. After enduring a pointless and hot hour-long paddle steamer ride, we travelled the extra 30 km to the Chowilla Woolshed for our first night's camp, with the River Rats. An evening demonstration of paddling and rescues (I volunteered to be the first victim, so that I could get wet), we headed back to camp for tea and bed. The word was that we needed to be on the water at 7.30 a.m., so I was ready...

Part 2: Spam Man is Born

" GOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM! " woke everyone at 5.30. Well, at least I hope it did, because I used my full voice. :) The "7.30" plan failed miserably, and after a packing demonstration from Len, and packing our own canoes, we split into 3 groups of 15 ish and set off.
Sometime during this day, Kevin came into being. Kevin was a lump of mud (with a face) which stayed miraculously on the front of Lukas's kayak for at least two days. The legend of Spam Man (not the one featured in DAVE, but the real one) began at lunch time, at the junction of Chowilla and Monoman Creeks. Lunch was Spam with Saladas - and then that night, leftover Spam with tuna went into the evening pasta. Guy became Spam Man over that night, with his calls:

Spam Man: SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!
All: YUM! YUM! YUM!
Spam Man: SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!
All: YUM! YUM! YUM!
Spam Man: SPAM!
All: YUM!
Spam Man: SPAM!
All: YUM!
Spam Man: SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!
All: YUM! YUM! YUM!

As you can probably tell, we all decided never to eat Spam again.

That evening was provide-your-own entertainment. We had paddled 16 km, and the next day, the plan was for 21 km. A mutiny led by Kylie gave everyone a chance to let off steam, and also gave James and I the first real opportunity to fulfil our job descriptions as Venture Hosts. Resolving the dispute was fun, as we gave creative suggestions (i.e. lied) about how good the next day would be, and how it would be easier than before.
After we managed to make Kylie shut up (which is a difficult task), we sat, talked, massaged and finally slept. A thunderstorm which had been predicted produced four drops of rain and the night continued...

After deciding to do 13 km of the 21 km without gear, we headed up and past the Isle of Man, with a lot of people experiencing their first portage at a weir. (But, as I say, it's not a real portage unless done with loaded canoes.) The next stretch down Boat Creek was rather interesting, with a fast flowing current and the creek full of snags. (It would be impossible to get a boat down Boat Creek. Makes you wonder about the sick minds of the people who named this place.) Several dodges and portages later, we reached our first real white brown-water rapids. Although a portage was recommended by expedition leader Simon H., some idi people decided to brave the rapids and the consequences. We reached our previous nights camp at 4 p.m., packed our gear, and continued on the last 8 km for the day, down Monoman Creek, finally stopping to camp where we had lunched the previous day. This night the food was much better, and of greater quantity, even if main course was not served until 10 p.m.

With the last 6 km to go in the morning, we headed back to the Woolshed, arriving at 12 p.m. Water-skiing was available, and the first group left almost immediately, which meant that I, among others, didn't get lunch until 3 p.m. The skiing was great, and I got up twice without stuffing up in the first few hundred metres. (Yay!) After we had returned, the second group went for their skiing / knee-boarding session. They became heroes, saving some people who had tipped their boat. Even the infamous Kylie is amongst this group of life-savers. Congratulations all round. That evening there was a disco in the Woolshed - 041 (that's us) and 141 (4WD Safari) joined the River Rats (051 and 052) for what was a great time. 141 had created their own song, so, not to be outdone, the Bunyips and Spam Man wrote their own. The Spam Song was first performed to boos and hisses at the Woolshed, but was later accepted as a masterpiece. (Lyrics below) The night ended at about 4 a.m., with 4 holes in the Woolshed floor from moshing.

Part 3: Lazy Days

Arriving back late afternoon, 041 set up, and after breaking in to our own security box, Cam explained offsite activities booking to us. The second Opening Ceremony went well, with bands The Superjesus and Def FX playing until late.

These next four days were filled with everyone doing various onsite and offsite activities. Highlights include:

• The first live broadcast of the Spam Song on MegaFM.
• Screen printing our Bunyips design on T-shirts.
• International Day on 10th January. We participated in badge-swapping and origami with the Japanese contingent, among other things.
• The Trangia debate: the pronunciation is either TRANG-ee-ah (NSW & ACT), or tran-JEE- ah (SA, Vic, and Tas.). Qld and WA don't use them. A novel pronunciation comes from Emma "I'm a Tas-maay-nee-an", who says "trannia" because of the lack of 'g's in her vocabulary. She also says "somethint", instead of "somethink", like South Australians.
• The recording and continual broadcast on MegaFM of the Spam Song and Bestiality's Best. (If you need to ask, you're too young.)
• The card game of the Venture was proclaimed (by me) to be Warlords and Scumbags, although we played an awful lot of Sevens...
• The Fruit Box / Popper / Prima debate, which wasn't limited to our unit.
• The presentation of the Bunyips Good Turn Award, which went by pot-luck to Helen.
• The Closing Ceremony with Chunky Custard, who went off completely! (You can tell I enjoyed myself, can't you?)
• Our own unit party from 12.30 ish until early, with enough junk food to rot anyone's teeth.
• My startling revelation that I could actually identify everyone in unit 041 by face and name.

Overall - The Venture was well worth the effort, and anyone who tells you otherwise should be wearing a Rosebank helmet.

WARNING: This song contains explicit lyrics, which aren't explicitly shown here. Hey, we're Venturers!

CHORUS:   Yummy, yummy, yummy,
          I've got Spam in my tummy,
          And I feel like throwing up.

VERSE 1:  It's making me dizzy and 
          It's making me nauseous,
          Don't know when it's gonna let up.
          You can have it with eggs,
          You can have it in a dream,
          But everyone should use it for haemorrhoid cream.

CHORUS:   Yummy, yummy, yummy,
          I've got Spam in my tummy,
          And I feel like throwing up.

VERSE 2:  It comes in a can,
          and was put there by a man,
          who must be really f***ed up.
          You can eat with Saladas,
          You can eat it with tuna,
          But it tastes better when it's chucked up.

CHORUS:   Yummy, yummy, yummy,
          I've got Spam in my tummy,
          And I feel like throwing up.